Warm Panko-crusted Chicken salad

I’m totally backwards.  I post a cold chicken salad recipe as we’re still transitioning from Spring and a warm chicken salad recipe after it appears warmer days are here at last.   I also do things like make unseasonal cobbler in the middle of winter (using frozen fruit) but that’s another story.  

Also, I may have mentioned this theory before – that the more ingredients you list in a dish name, the fancier it sounds.  Chicken salad?  Meh.  Panko-crusted warm chicken salad?  Now I have your interest, don’t I?   What if I said Warm Panko-Crusted Chicken Salad with avacado and red-wine vinaigrette?   Salivating yet? 

I had some grilled chicken breasts I needed to use and had a hankering for greens.  But I wasn’t feelin’ the usual make green salad add cold chopped chicken – booooring.  So I made a green salad with baby greens, spinach, bellpeppers sliced into matchsticks (red and orange), cucumbers (I peeled the cucumber and scooped the seeds out and then sliced the hollow tube – I won’t tell you what J said the slices looked like but try it yourself and you tell me) and avacado (of course).  As for the chicken, I sliced the breasts fairly thin, dipped them in flour, egg then panko and pan fried til the outside was crispy.  This didn’t take long since the chicken was already cooked.  I then draped the slices artfully over the plate of greens and veggies and topped with a redwine vinaigrette (although a honey mustard dressing would be fab).  All of a sudden I turned a potentially ho-hum salad into something that could be served in a restaurant.  I almost took a picture, it looked so good.  Best thing though?  It took like only 20 minutes to make.  Suck on that, Rachel Ray you hack. 

There’s truly no large point to this post except to say panko makes everything better.  They’re the only breadcrumbs I’ll buy.  (If I need the dusty kind I make my own from leftover bits of bread I store in the freezer).  I really like panko because even oven baked stuff (often mistakeningly referred to as “over-fried,” a phrase I abhor) turns out nice and crispy.  You could totally make the chicken pieces in the oven.  Or use raw chicken breasts, slice thickly, coat in a red curry-yogurt mixture, then panko and bake and make some excellent chicken fingers.  Vegetarians could easily sub tofu or zucchini, which has that nice meaty texture.  

That’s it, I’ve got nothing else.  Oh, it’s Earth Day.  Happy Earf Day. 

(Tomorrow Today! is administrative professionals day, f/k/a secretary’s day.   Don’t forget to show your staff how much you love them!)  (My office is oberving admin day on Thursday, sorry for the mix-up!)

Oh I Want to Be Free

WARNING: BORING BUT POTENTIALLY USEFUL POST AHEAD ABOUT DSL SERVICE (disclaimer: I do not work for AT&T)

The man and I have DirecTV service, as well as AT&T Phone and internet.  Problem was, we didn’t have a phone.  We both have cell phones and use those exclusively.  Alarm system is not tied into phone line.  On the rare occasion we order Pay Per View (you know, when Girls Gone Wild 28 – Girls Gone Wild Ultimate Fighting Championship comes out) we do so online.  So we had this phone number (which neither of us ever knew what it us) and no phone plugged in to use it even if we wanted to (I don’t think we even had a phone in the house).  Stupid, right?  Indeed, totally stupid.

So, I googled around, as I’m prone to do.  We’ve been doing what we can to cut down on unnecessary services, now that we have two bills to pay for everything.  (Ah, the joys of two households – double the fun, double the expense!)   And, before someone mentions it, we weren’t interested in cable – tv or internet.  We have our reasons.  (The biggest being that craptastic Comcast is the only provider – um, can anyone say monopoly?).   ANNNND, it just turns out that AT&T does indeed offer standalone DSL service, sans phone line!  Score!  ANNNND, it’s available in our area.  Double score!

So I made the surprisingly painless switch with my helpful AT&T rep over the phone – we now have fast DSL and no voice service.  Which is what we had before, except now we don’t have to pay for the voice service we weren’t using.  And it’s still bundled with DirecTV so we still get that savings.  And no contract or required terms.  I had absolutely no idea this was available – did I miss the marketing pitch on this one?  I mean, if I hadn’t gone looking for it, I never would have known.  Or am I just living under a rock?

I think it’s becoming more norm to ditch traditional landlines – what’s the point if you have reliable cell service?  I know some people have legit reasons for needing landlines and for those people a free VOIP might fill in the gap.   Or maybe carrier pigeons – I think those should make a comeback.  Or telegraphs – it’s like the original Twitter.   But, you know, slower.   And without whales.  (Speaking of whales, anyone remember Voyage of the Mimi – when is that coming out on DVD?  I’d like to relive a young Ben Affleck jumping in bed with that grizzly old man and Sally Ruth wanting to see the whales).

You’re such a corn smut

Do you ever find that you’ll come across something new (and, in my case, totally obscure and off the wall) and then you’ll see immediately see repeated references to that thing?  It happens to me all the time, usually about the most random shit.  For instance, Exhibit A:  while skimming Atlanta Creative Loafing yesterday I came across a reference to something called huitlacoche, also known as corn smut.  It is essentially a corn fungus which creates these mushroom like tumor growths.  Some consider it a pest, some consider it a delicacy.  TomAYto, Tomaaahto, right?  Point is, it’s an odd thing you don’t normally hear about often.  So of course, I saw a reference about it today while reading some NY Times dining review of some snobby place I will never go to.  It was an oblique reference, which made it even odder.  (A quick search of the NY Times archives reveals a highlight on huitlacoche, aka Mexican Truffle, in August 2000 – maybe it’s not as obscure as I thought.  Although I doubt even YDFM has huitlacoche).  And I would have never caught the reference unless I had seen it before in CL.  I probably would have glazed over it, thought “huh, what’s that?” and moved on.  (Ok, that’s a total lie, I’m an information junkie like you wouldn’t believe and I probably would have googled or wikied like I did the day before). 

 

And now, you, imaginary reader, are fully informed as to the wonder that is huitlacoche.  Feel free to use it in conversation, as in, “These Italian Black truffles are quite excellent but don’t compare to the raw earthiness and complexity that is huitlacoche.”  Then you can smugly explain to your clueless dining companion what huitlacoche is while feeling superior.  Wait, is that something White People Like?  (Apparently hating people who wear Ed Hardy is something white people like.  I guess that solves the internal debate I’ve had with myself ever since I was forced to first fill out my race on a standarized test scantron in elementary school – I am indeed white.  Whew, that’s a relief.  Imagine if I had turned out Mexican after all?  Then at least I might have known what a Mexican Truffle is.)   

 

Ps:  all references to huitlacoche are in bold italics b/c I copied and pasted the word from Wiki – each time I used it.  I really am that lazy.

           

On Life Support

Alternate title: How a Recipe is Like Mouth to Mouth but Can’t Give you VD – or Can it?

Oh blog, gasping for air, for life, fighting with all your might.  I have turned away, too busy to hear your death throes (and not caring, to be honest – I’m not alone in this).  I think I am simply Not Cut Out to be a Blogger – it requires time, attention and committment – (as well as sparkling wit, humor and CONTENT) – ALL things I am TERRIBLE at.  Now that Dolemite has gone to the big whorehouse in the sky I feel I have nothing to contribute – for what is left to be said after you’ve announced the death of the greatest pimp and overall badass muthafucka of all time?

Well, at a funeral you bring food, right?  Comfort food, at that – no haute cuisine, no acai berries or pomogranate infusions – no, good cheesy casseroles, jello based creations and carbs (calories eaten while mourning don’t count).   So, here is my humble chickeny salad recipe.   For times of death and life.

Ingredients:

Grilled chicken breasts (or poached, or baked – just NOT RAW)

Carrots – finely chopped (real from the ground carrots, preferably with a little dirt still clinging that you have to wash off – baby carrots will not do)

Celery – ditto (can sub other crunchy veg, like bell pepper or radishes for you haters)

Golden raisins (or dried cranberries, snipped dried apricots, or, if you’re truly inferior, purple raisins but ugh)

Green olives – pitted and chopped(olive haters – well, first, let’s just say I don’t understand you.  But capers or pickles will work – anything briny and sour)

Toasted nut of choice – roughly chopped (walnut, pecans, cashews, pine – all good choices)

Plain yogurt – any variety (non-fat, low-fat, full-fat, goat, greek, etc. – maybe not soy – I’m not real sure about soy yogurt)

a mere dollop of mayo (totally optional)

white balsamic or tarragon vinegar

lemon juice

S&P

Washed greens OR toasted bread OR croissant to serve

To create:

Chop cooked chicken (grilled really is tastiest) into bite sized cubes.   Gently mix with assorted veggies and olives and raisins (or alternatives).  Add enough yogurt to bind everything and just a mere dollop of mayo for binding powers and flavor.  Sprinkle in vinegar of choice to taste, add S&P to taste.  Serve on top of greens or in sandwich form.  Sprinkle with toasted nuts and squirt of lemon juice.

Note this salad has a combination of crunchy, salty/briny, sweet and acidic.  That is not on accident, each component contributes to making (in my opinion, anyway) a well balanced salad.  You can certainly use the alternatives listed or your own but make sure to keep the function of the component in mind.  And I didn’t provide measurements of anything – it’s all to taste.  For two people I usually use two chicken breasts, 1-2 carrots and celery stalks, handful of raisins, 5 olives, 1/3 cup nuts,  1/3 – 1/2 cup yogurt and 1 tbl. mayo.   And that usually gives us leftovers for at least one lunch.

As for my little corner of the interwebs – I’m not sure.  I’m too chicken (pun not intended – or is it?) to pull the plug.  What if I ever feel the need to spread unimportant info far and wide that anyone can access?  I also feel my original purpose – amusing myself – is no longer being met, as I no longer find this blog (or myself) amusing.  It’s become a drag – the magic is gone.  Kinda like all my previous relationships – I soon lose interest after an initial burst of enthusiasm (I married the man I managed to still have enthusiasm for every day, btw – it’s how I knew he was it).   So, while I’m in favor of assisted suicide in general, it’s not for me.  I’ll let this place limp along until maybe one day I find the willingness to make a decision either way.  In the meantime – if anyone feels like guest blogging – about ANYTHING (that won’t get me or you arrested) please let me know – mi blog es su blog.

How I learned to stop worrying and love pesto

Up until a few days ago I was an avowed pesto hater. I totally hated on some pesto. Don’t ask my why or try to convince me of its merits, I just did not like the stuff.

But then a few days ago I was making pizza (including homemade dough). And I realized I’m also not a huge pan of tomato sauce on pizza. It’s ok, but doesn’t really float my boat. (I’d been using wing sauce for a BBQ chicken variety previously, but it was time to branch out). I came to the unfortunate conclusion that pesto was a likely appropriate substitute and that I would have to overcome my negative feelings towards it. Of course, integral to this is realizing I would never ever love jarred pesto and I would have to make my own – luckily, making your own pesto is incredibly easy.

(Aside – yes, I’m well aware it’s NOT summer and that basil is NOT in season. Nor is the plastic package of basil I picked up local or environmentally friendly. I am not perfect people, sometimes I eat unethical basil. Deal with it).

So, I whirled my shameful unseasonal not-local basil in a food processor with the requisite pine nuts (threw some walnuts in as well, because I had some leftover toasted walnuts from another application), garlic, parm and olive oil. The raw garlic taste was very pungent but I figured it would mellow out a bit during baking (it did). I used pesto as the pizza sauce and topped it with chicken, (jarred) roasted red peppers, chopped olives, fresh mozzarella and grated parm. And know what? It was really freaking good. We actually ate the leftovers I saved, that’s how good it was.

I had some left over pesto which I saved. (another aside – I always, ALWAYS save left over food. We almost never, NEVER eat or use it, much to my dismay – I hate being wasteful). I assumed it would sit in my fridge til it was time to clean it out and I had to toss it in the trash (I know you can freeze pesto, but it just didn’t seem worth the effort for the amount I had). But, inspiration hit the other night. Usually, I plan meals for the week and buy necessary ingredients for each meal every week. I’m not really great about throwing meals together from pantry staples, even though I keep my pantry amply stocked – I’m usually just too tired at the end of the day to be creative. But I was especially tired the other night and didn’t feel like making the quinoa salad I had planned (it’s really bad if you can’t get your stuff together to freaking make some quinoa).

So, of course, nothing left to do but make a frittata. Bonus, I got to use some veggies sitting in my fridge that desperately needed to be used. I sautéed some bell pepper and asparagus (from Mexico, I know, I’m going to hell, please don’t tell the food police on me, I didn’t know it was from Mexico til I got home) and scrambled some eggs with grated parm and cubed mozzarella left over from pizza making. I mixed in the leftover pesto with the sautéed veggies and then poured the eggs over and baked til puffy. And it was delicious, pesto and all. (Served with some greens not long for this world dressed simply with red wine vinegar and good olive oil). I even ate the leftovers for lunch! (With lots of hot sauce, of course). And I was very proud of being industrious and using things in my fridge that needed to be used.

So, I think the moral of the store is: I actually do like pesto. But not as a pasta sauce – I need to be a background player providing flavor in a larger dish, where it’s not the main player. Also, I’m really bad at this eat seasonally, eat locally stuff. Mostly because I’m lazy. But I do plan on trying to grow my own herbs at the new homestead so maybe that will help. I have no more plans to use basil until this summer, when it’s in season and plentiful. Other good ways to use pesto not as a pasta sauce? I hear it’s good slathered on fish – there’s probably a way to make a good veggie dip out of it as well. An I bet there are some sandwiches that would be made awesome with a dab of the green stuff (hey, today is St. Patty’s day, how appropriate!)

Oh, and for you old school folks, here’s how to make pesto “like an Italian grandma.” For your modern young things, here’s a cilantro “pesto” twist.

Juxtaposition

Because I am type-A to the extreme, I was browsing for an Easter gift to send my in-laws.  Despite that fact that today, Ash Wednesday, is the official beginning of Lent and I have more than an entire month to find something.  Irrelevant.

Anyway, while browsing around various online outlets (why does Williams Sonoma have their Easter shop up readily accessible on-line but Target does not, btw?)  I had to actually search “Easter” on Target’s website.  They’ve yet to capitalize on the material aspects of this particular holiday.  But, minor inconveniences aside, I’ve decided I much more enjoyed the Target virtual shopping experience.  Because not only do they have a varied selection of adult Easter bunny costumes, they also have an adult Jesus costume.  Excuse me, Adults PLUS size Jesus costume.  (I didn’t realize there was a demand for plus-sized Jesus costumes but I suppose I underestimate the number of productions of Easter Passion Plays).   Plus-size Jesus alone was amusing.  But even better is that the very next item in the Easter line-up are none other than sexy Adult “Playboy Style” (my words, not theirs) white stilettos with a white puff attached to the heal.  Why not offer them with the Jesus costume and make it a Jesus/Mary Magdalene combo?  See if for yourself here.

Jesus comes in many shapes, colors and sizes

I think these will make for an excellent (is it eggcelent?) church ensemble

UPDATE – PLEASE CLICK THAT LINK AND CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE TARGET EASTER MERCHANDISE!  It is full of awesomeness.   Like a crown of thorns headpiece for $11.49.  That for some reason, is modeled on a hookerish-looking manequin head.  And lots and lots of baby bunny costumes that I’m sure will lead to years of psychotherapy.

Recipe: Confetti Black Bean Soup

This recipe comes together quickly if you have all your ingredients prepared. Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly industrious, when I get home from the grocery store on Sunday I’ll take the time to prep all the things for the week’s meals I have planned. This greatly increases the odds I’ll actually cook everything I planned and am less likely to order in when feeling lazy. (I mean, if you have 3 meals that week calling for chopped onions, might as well spend 10 minutes chopping enough for all three meals at one time). After chopping everything, I measure out ingredients into baggies and prep bowls and organize according to dish. Notice I said when I’m feeling industrious – I’m not anal enough to do this every weekend, although I’m usually pretty happy with the outcome when I take the time to do this (even if it means a few extra hours in the kitchen on Sunday). Also, having pre-chopped mirepoix (or soffrito or other cultural equivalent) mixture ready makes it easy to invent stuff on the spot, like the soup I have here. It all came about because I had a big baggie of chopped carrots, celery and onion ready to go. I added the bell peppers because I needed to use them and was really happy with the flavor. Plus, everything looked so pretty in the pot while I was sautéing! Hence the name.

One more note – all amounts are approximate to taste.  I’m really wildly guessing here to give people a ballpark figure.  Use your best judgment if something seems off, especially if you need more or less stock.

Confetti Black Bean Soup

Ingredients:

4 pieces of bacon (turkey/meatless substitutes are fine; may omit entirely if you’re really boring)

2 stalks celery, finely chopped (approx. ½ cup)

2 carrots, finely chopped (approx ½ cup)

White or yellow onion, finely chopped, approx ¾ cup

2 cloves garlic, minced (I cheat and use a garlic press)

½ red bell pepper, finely chopped; plus additional 2 tablespoons finely minced for garnish

½ yellow bell pepper, finely chopped; plus additional 2 tablespoons finely minced for garnish

Low-sodium chicken or vegetable stock

1 can black beans

1 tsp red pepper flakes

1 small container plain non-fat yogurt

Directions:

Fry up bacon in a large dutch oven or stock pot on the stove. Remove, reserving fat in pot. Crumble bacon and set aside. Add enough olive oil to bacon fat left in pan to total approx. 3 tablespoons. Add carrots and celery and sauté for about 5-7 minutes. Add onions, garlic and bell peppers. Sauté for another 5 minutes. (The pot looks like colorful confetti at this point, hence the name). Add enough stock to cover vegetables, 2-3.5 cups. Add beans and red pepper flakes (to taste). Bring to boil; reduce to simmer and cook for 10-12 minutes, until all vegetables are soft. Remove from heat. Stir in yogurt. Puree beans and vegetables until smooth, using an immersion blender. Or, using slotted spoon, transfer beans and vegetables and enough broth to facilitate pureeing to blender. (Be careful blending hot foods!) Leave center in blender lid open and cover with a towel (covering completely can cause pressure to build up and contents to explode). In batches, blend until smooth and return to pot. Stir to combine and simmer until heated through. To serve, ladle into bowls and top with dollop of yogurt (or sour cream). Sprinkle with crumbled bacon and reserved minced bell peppers. Serves 4-5. As with most soups, the flavor improved somewhat the next day, but I was really happy with the way it tasted right off the stove.

File under “Things I wish I had Learned Long Ago”

It’s always the simplest crap, too.  I just now learned you can make microwave popcorn using regular kernels.  I enjoy popcorn as a snack now and again (it’s a whole grain, after all) but given health concerns about microwave popcorn (which are probably over-blown, due to media fear-mongering), not to mention the loads of chemical flavorants and god knows what, I prefer to buy whole popcorn kernels and pop it myself.  Up til now, I’ve labored over the stove top, using oil, shake shake shaking the pan, etc.  Ugh.  It’s a pain, therefore, I rarely ate popcorn.

But now, NOW!  My eyes have been opened.  Did you know you can pop regular kernels in the microwave?  I didn’t til a few days ago.  It’s so freaking easy and you don’t need oil!  Just put 2-3 tablespoons of popcorn kernels in a regular brown paper lunch sack, fold over the edge a few times, and zap in the microwave for 2-3 minutes (you know the drill, til the popping slows).   I add butter, because I’m indulgent like that, but those with more restraint can eat plain (or herbed or add parm or (real) truffle butter or whatev).   No more pot, no more shaking, no more oil = awesome.  Plus, buying a jar of kernals is way cheaper than buying pre-packaged microwave popcorn, which is a big plus in these trying times.   I can’t wait to get my Rancho Gordo Crimson Popping Corn now that the odds are greatly increased I’ll actually make it.

ps: I don’t know why I’m so amazed by this.  I guess I’m just easily amused

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Or, how to blog with no real content

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8. 20% off any one item at H&M.  (In stores only, must print coupon; link will send you to a PDF file).

Happy Birthday to Me, or, Strangest Birthday Present Ever

Is it strange for me to lust after dried beans?  I think it’s odd, even for me.  But ever since I learned about Rancho Gordo probably 4 years ago I’ve been daring myself to order what food bloggers world round promise are the best dried beans in these parts.  I talk myself out of it each time, why, I don’t really know, except to say I didn’t really *need* specialty heirloom beans, it’s a little bourgeois.  But this time, I rationalized hey, my birthday is coming up (ok, a few weeks away, but a minor detail) and this is my birthday present to myself.  Lamest birthday gift to self, ever?  Probably.  That’s ok, I’m really excited to try these.  (My sister thought it very strange when I suggested these as a Christmas gift idea and I don’t blame her).

Rancho Gordo is committed to producing heirloom and “new world” food products, mostly beans, but they offer other stuff as well (dried corn, spices, and some popcorn and red quinoa I ordered and am excited to try). Apparently, the dried beans you get in most store are already really really old – Rancho Gordo promises “fresh” dried beans.  (Some even don’t require overnight soaking).  I’m hoping I’ll be able to tell a difference, because otherwise I’ll be very disappointed. Maybe I’ll give an update once I get them and actually cook with them.  Maybe.  If anything, check out their site, they have tons of recipes for cooking with beans and a cheeky logo to boot.  And if you do, maybe you’ll catch the lust as well and I won’t feel like such a freak. That would be cool.  (Or, you might not get it, just reinforcing my freakishness.  That’s ok too, I suppose, since it would just be an affirmation of what I already know – I’m a little nuts).